Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
