Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
