oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
