when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Shame - the story of my life.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
