So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
