Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
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