Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
