Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i will never coherently bang her
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
