i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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