this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
