D3 body, D1 cock
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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