Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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