i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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