I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
