How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize