I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
