she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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