it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks