so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.