i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did