shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.