When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.