Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation