Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
what day is it and did you see me today?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i drank out of a bidet.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Randomize
Follow @tfln