I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.