Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish