I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
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It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
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Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.