no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize