i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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