I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
