she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
