i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
