Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
