i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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