SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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