My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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