Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Randomize
