This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
