There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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