Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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