well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
