how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
