There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
