We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Randomize