someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
bring money and cleavage
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize