You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
