I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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