I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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