They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
