You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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