so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I could fuck to npr.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
