lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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