So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
