there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
