he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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