Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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