Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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