so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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