we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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