Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
