I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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